Welcome to the strange and wonderful world of 'Andy Land'! 'Andy Land' is the bizarre 'other world' to my web site, dedicated to many of my personal interests and passions (Not THOSE passions! Pervert!).

In 'Andy Land' you'll find links to many cool sites but that's not all! You'll also have access to games, jokes, and most importantly, my unsolicited opinions on EVERYTHING (Gee, just what you wanted!). I will feature news and reviews of cigars, movies, comedy happenings, special guests, and much more.

• Need a new recipe for a great martini? 'Andy Land' is the place to go!
• Want to know where to find the best and funniest stand-up comics in Chicago? 'Andy Land' has the answer!
• Do you have a bizarre fascination with the song Louie Louie and you need a place to hide? 'Andy Land' will be your refuge!

*** A WARNING TO ALL VISITORS! ***

This is where the promotional aspect of the site ends and the personal side begins. 'Andy Land' will for the most part be a "PG" experience. However some material will not be appropriate for young kids. So...

• Parents, YOU do the parenting and leave me out of it. Set your kids in front of the TV where they belong. I'm sure that Pro Wrestling will provide all the wholesome entertainment they require. And I don't want any nasty letters from you either. If you take the time to actually look at the stuff your child is viewing (as all parents SHOULD but often don't) you can make your own decisions regarding content and acceptability. Honestly, this is a nice little place. But I want you to look at it and decide for yourself and your kids.
• Kids, don't make me install one of those lame 'Adult Check' devices for this site. Be honest and stay out of the "Cigars & Martinis" and "Funny Pages" sections unless you're at least 18 years old. If I get an angry e-mail from your parents I'm just going to refer them to the above warning anyway.
• Agents, I don't want any flack about combining a personal site with a professional site. Don't judge me or exclude me from consideration for work if you think 'Andy Land' somehow changes the quality of my act. I've worked hard to keep this this very respectable and there's not much in here that can tarnish my image. I am, as always, a true professional. Aww heck, why am I bothering with this? You guys don't ever actually read any of the promo sent to you. You just look at the first minute of a tape and check to see if the costumes are clean. Then...it's off to your file cabinet where it will rest for many years while you book the same 8 or 9 acts you always have. (If this got your attention, please disregard that rant and go to the andymartello.com home page and get me some work!)