Cigar Comebacks

Remark: "You know, that second hand smoke could kill me!"
Response: "Yeah, but not fast enough!" (It really helps if you blow some smoke at the assailant!)

Remark: "That cigar is just an extension of your manhood."
Response: "That's why I cut off the end and set it on fire."

Remark: "Why do you smoke those smelly cigars? Don't you like women more?"
Response: "Sure I like women. But no matter how long I have this cigar I know the butt will stay the same size!"
Response for women: "At least I can choose the length of a cigar!"

Remark: "Eeew! You smoke cigars?"
Response: "Yep. I'm up to 2 packs a day."

10 Reasons Why Cigars Are Better Than Women

• Cigars don't get jealous when you look at other cigars.
• A man can have more than one cigar in a night.
• You don't have to cuddle with a cigar.
• If the fire goes out you can always re-light a cigar.
• If you don't like the cigar you can get another one, no questions asked!
• Cigars don't have divorce attorneys.
• CIGARS CAN'T TALK!
• A man doesn't mind being seen with an ugly cigar.
• A cigar doesn't have a mother-in-law.
• You can enjoy a cigar AND watch the game!

10 Reasons Why Cigars Are Better Than Men

• Some women like short, fat cigars.
• A woman will actually put a cigar in her mouth.
• If you don't like your cigar you can throw it out.
• It's legal to cut the head off your cigar.
• With cigars you can suck and blow at YOUR convenience.
• You can take a Cuban home with you and not worry about what friends and neighbors think.
• Cigars are smarter, they're always there for you, and they know their place.
• A cigar doesn't whine if you smoke it right away.
• Cigars like to be taken out for long walks in the park too.
• When a woman finishes her cigar she's ALWAYS satisfied!

Keep Track of the Cigars You Smoke

Keeping some sort of journal or log of your cigars is a good idea for any smoker, especially if you're new to the cigar world. I promise you, you will not remember the name of the great cigar your buddy gave you at the bar! Even if you just save the cigar band you'll do yourself a great service the next time you want to smoke that same cigar.

The BEST way to catalog your smoking preferences is to use The Don Martello Cigar Smoker's Journal.
 

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